Government Economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Politically Correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro organism."

AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

New World Order virus: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Federal Bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Nike virus: Just does it.

Health Care virus: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.

George Bush virus: It starts by boldly stating "Read my docs...No new files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional virus.