Whistler's Law: You never know who is right, but you always know who is in charge.

Zall's Laws: First Law - Anytime you get a mouthful of hot soup, the next thing you do will be wrong. Second Law - How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

Any wire cut to length will be too short.

Anyone can admit they were wrong; the true test is admitting it to someone else.

Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool.

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

Anything in parentheses can be ignored.