The following ads actually appeared in Newspapers:

ILLITERATE ? Write today for free help.

AUTO REPAIR SERVICE. Free pick up and delivery. Try us once, you will never go anywhere again.

DOG FOR SALE Eats anything and is fond of children

STOCK UP AND SAVE. Limit: one.

SEMI ANNUAL AFTER XMAS SALE DINNER SPECIAL. Turkey $3.25; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

FOR SALE: Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

GREAT DAMES for sale.

TIRED OF CLEANING YOURSELF? Let me do it

FOR RENT: 6 room hated apartment

WANTED: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink

OUR BIKINIS ARE EXCITING. They are simply the tops.

AND NOW, the superstore unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience

WE WILL OIL your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1