One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with The Devil.

The Devil: Why so sad?

Guy: Why do you think? I`m in hell.

The Devil: Hell`s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here... Do you drink?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

The Devil: Well you`re gonna love Mondays. On Mondays that`s all we do is drink. Whiskey, brandy, rum, tequila, beer...we drink until we throw up and then we drink some more! It doesn`t matter because you`re already dead!

Guy: That sounds great.

The Devil: Do you smoke?

Guy: Yes.

The Devil: You`re going to love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! If you get cancer - who cares! You`re already dead!

Guy: Wow!

The Devil: Do you gamble?.

Guy: I do.

The Devil: Wednesdays you can gamble all you want...blackjack, roulette, poker, whatever... If you lose your shirt...who cares!

 
Guy: Amazing!

The Devil: You into drugs?

Guy: You don`t mean...

The Devil: Yes, Thursdays are drug days. Help yourself to a great all the drugs that your want!  Who cares... you`re dead!

Guy: I never realized Hell was such a swinging place!!!

The Devil: Are you gay?

 
Guy: No.

The Devil: Ooooh - you`re gonna hate Fridays..