I don't know what your problem is but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

-I see you have set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

-I'm really easy to get along with as soon as people learn to worship me.

-I'll try to be nicer if your try to be smarter.

-I don't work here I am a consultant.

-You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

-The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you are an artist.

-I'm out of my mind but feel free to leave a message.

-It sounds like English but I don't understand a word you are saying.

-I am not being rude. You are just being insignificant.

-It's a thankless job, but I have a lot of karma to burn off.

You sound reasonable. Time to up the medication.